Shameless Self-promotion
Monday,April 25,2005, 05:26 AM
Text only of a newspaper article regarding the Pope-U-Lator. Actually, it is about Catholics using the Internet to blog about the Papacy and recent events. Erik of Erik's Rants and Fr. Keyes of The New Gasparian were nicely quoted.

You have to get the print version to see Team Pope-U-Lator mugging with the gothic spire of our parish church in the background.

[ 1623 comments ] ( 24711 views )

God's Rottweiler
Sunday,April 24,2005, 09:19 AM
His Holiness used sometimes to be be described by certain wags as God's Rottweiler. Are Rottweiler's really vicious flesh-rending beasts? Not so, according to the American Kennel Club. They say:


The Rottweiler is basically a calm, confident and courageous dog with a self-assured aloofness that does not lend itself to immediate and indiscriminate friendships. A Rottweiler is self-confident and responds quietly and with a wait-and-see attitude to influences in his environment. He has an inherent desire to protect home and family, and is an intelligent dog of extreme hardness and adaptability with a strong willingness to work, making him especially suited as a companion, guardian and general all-purpose dog.

[ 1396 comments ] ( 17074 views )

Habemas Papam
Thursday,April 21,2005, 05:11 PM
The Pope-U-Lator confesses himself to be a miserable predictor. The name was not Leo, as we thought, and the Cardinal was not Arinze, as we thought. Yet we are rejoicing.

Fortunately, the Pope-U-Lator application itself was surprisingly accurate. If you had entered various combinations of non-Italian, conservative, old, and scholarly, the Pope-U-Lator frequently came out with Cardinal Ratzinger as the top pick.

New nicknames our friends (all loyal Papists) have come up with recently:

- The German Shepherd
- B-16 (the bomber or the vitamin?)
- Panzerpabst ("pabst" being German for "Pope")

We are mystified at the mythical reputation promoted by the media that Benedict XVI was some kind of crazed heretic-hunter. He is fact reputed to be a kindly, accessible man with a gentle spirit. The fact that his job occasionally required him to "discipline" various theologians who went way, way over the top is in no way contradictory. The "discipline" consisted mostly in prohibiting such fellows from advertising themselves as Catholic theologians. We think it is reasonable that the Catholic hierarchy get to decide who is and who is not a bona fide Catholic theologian.

[ 14 comments ] ( 36 views )

Odds on Papal Names
Thursday,April 14,2005, 11:26 AM
The bookmakers are now offering bets on the selection of Papal names.

The name Benedict is leading at 3-1, John Paul at 7-2 and Pius at 6-1. Some of these bets on offer are fairly attractive--others are robbery (e.g., Peter at 10-1).

But, if you took all three of the following bets:

Clement at 25-1,
Leo at 16-1
Gregory at 25-1,

the Pope-u-lator thinks you might make yourself a little money. We are NOT recommending the bet for Sixtus the Sixth, which, as you might guess, is at 66-1.

Meanwhile, the odds on the new Pope have changed since last night due to the Italian newspaper reports claiming that 40 (or 50) of the cardinals have expressed support for Ratzinger. Currently:

Ratzinger 7-2
Lustiger 4-1
Martini 9-2
Hummes 8-1
and our favorite, the contender from Africa, Arinze has dropped to 8-1.

Cardinal Ratzinger is old. He is 78 years old. The average age of all nine Popes who served in the 20th Century was only 65.6 when they were elected. It is true that John XXIII was almost 77 at his election. Yet, it took 11 ballots to elect John XXIII as a compromise, caretaker Pope. And, nobody expects Ratzinger to be a caretaker if he becomes Pope.

[ 3 comments ] ( 92 views )

Predicting the Next Pope
Wednesday,April 13,2005, 09:45 PM
There is nothing I like better than speculating about the next Pope. It is terrific fun.

The best part about it is that no one really has the foggiest notion. No one can claim any kind of expertise, including the Cardinals who will be in the conclave. At the moment this is being written, bookmakers have the following odds on the next Pope:

Tettamanzi 4.9 to 1
Arinze 5.6 to 1
Rattinger 3.8 to 1

They have the W.C. Fields favorite Godfried Daneels as a longshot at 36 to 1.

They also have bets available on

whether the new Pope will be at least 70 years old,
whether he will be elected on or before 4/21,
whether he will have been born in Italy,
whether he will have been born in the Americas.

The only sure bet that the Pope-U-Lator knows of is this: Cardinal Law will not be elected Pope.

[ 14 comments ] ( 138 views )

Tuesday,April 12,2005, 01:45 PM
Welcome to the POPE-U-LATOR!

This web site is brought to you from Berkeley, California where I and my family of wife and ten children run in small Catholic circles.

If you are amused, please use the "DONATE" button. If you are not amused, the heck with you.

If you have any comments about the site, feel free to enter them here.


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